Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
