Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
