he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
