Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
