We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
