I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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