So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
