Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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