the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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