I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
