he thought i was a dude.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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