margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
My hand turned me down
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
