My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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