clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
