Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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