You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
