Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
