She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
