Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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