Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
