the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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