Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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