your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
