Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
