just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
