I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
only you would photoshop your dick
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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