There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
