i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
