i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
