I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
