i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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