I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
