If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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