so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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