So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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