I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She bit a glass in half.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
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