Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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