I seem to have left my pride at pride
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
