your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
