The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
