do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize