Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
