...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
