Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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