I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
