whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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