i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
She bit a glass in half.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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