My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
and you fell through a lawn chair
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
