Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
