That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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