Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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