just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize