I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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