I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
