Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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