community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
time to smoke my breakfast
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
