White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
