what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
