I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
