You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
handjob tips. give me some.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
