I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
