That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
