Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
